Our family is our greatest outreach

Was just browsing thru my mail updates and was amazed to stumble upon this blog that was just so in line with what Rev. Col Stringer preached yesterday. Awesome sermon yeah? =) For now, it would be to devote myself as a daughter to my family before the one comes along. I guess it's just training myself to love the ones that are closest to me first before I could love others and allow myself to be trained by the one He has appointed over my life.

Taken from There Is No Greater Work by Biblical Womanhood

"...When I was single and before I had children, I was very involved in outside ministries - teaching children, cooking, cleaning, and ironing to help out weary moms, ministering to my grandparents and other elderly individuals, organizing and volunteering for various ministries, and so forth. (One of the benefits of not going to college was that it freed up much of my schedule so I was able to do these things!). My husband and I look forward to the day when we can send our own girls out as ambassadors on our behalf to minister to other families in our church and community like my parents "sent me out" before I was married. And maybe someday when my children are all grown and gone, I'll have opportunities to do things like this again.

At this point in my life, however, I don't feel like it would be right for me to regularly leave my children - even for a few hours each week - in order to reach out to others. My husband and children are my greatest outreach. This means that the phone often doesn't get answered, emails often don't get answered, and I say "no" a lot.

Is this because I'm just a hard-nosed uncaring individual?

No.

It's because I believe with all my heart that raising up the next generation for the glory of God is the greatest ministry, work, and outreach I can be doing. It is far more important than anything else. I don't need to be looking elsewhere for outreach opportunities; I have them right in front of me every day all day long!

Sadly, the world is constantly whispering to women that they must "be more" and "do more" than "just being a wife and mom." As if training and raising up the next generation is not enough.
What is often overlooked is that there is no more noble and glorious calling for a young mom than for her to devote her life to being a help meet to her husband and a mother to her children. That's why you won't see a lot of posts here on outside ministries for moms to do which would require them to leave their children to do so for I believe that the greatest ministry a mom can have is right there in her home training and raising up her precious children to the glory of God!

At the end of my life, I want to look back without regrets. Other people can step in to minister to the needy if I can't, but there is only one person who is called to be my husband's help meet and my children's mother. I want to be faithful to the calling God has given me. There is no greater work I could be doing."

Ashley and her boyfren :)

Today was my second 'session' with Ashley to observe her for her cognitive aspect through her drawings. Boy, it really thought me an important lesson in life. Heh~ That it really doesn't matter if you plan ahead because sometimes things just doesn't work out the way you want it to be. But it was a fun process nonetheless.

My initial plan was to 

I had thoughts like this running in my mind then...I only have one day to observe you and one more day before I pass up my assignment. As compared to my frens who gets to see their kids daily in the childcare and a week to prepare. DRAW Ashley! =) A scribble would be good too. Yet I know I can't force a kid to do something.

(Awhile later in the office after her treats of ice-cream and cheese sausage, I finally manage to entice her to the table)

"Tell me a story by drawing it(as read in books)". "I do not know how to tell a story".(Errr...)

"Draw some fruits for me". (She drew a banana) "Anymore fruits". "That's the only fruit in my house". (Ok...)

But the interesting part was when she started sharing with me her boyfren :) Who would have imagined a 5years old gal falling in love! Shyly she told me about him. That they went swimming together and saw many fishes. She took out her phone and show me the imaginary picture =) and trace the handphone and drew the fishes in it. We even pretend play to call each other. Sometimes, I acted as the boy asking her out and she was just so cute...just like how a gal would look if a boy would to ask them out(picture attached) Heh~

"Why do you like him?" "He help me to pick up my things from the floor when it falls and put it back inside my bag"(she drew a bag) =)

After much persuasion, she secretly told me his name and drew his face =) She did after all tell me a story! Heh~

Wherever she went, whatever she did(with her new phone) it was all about 'him'. Wonder still whether is it truly her first love or her imaginary fren =)

The point is, dun work too hard at fretting or planning for something in advance. Even what you want to achieve in the future. Things may change in a split of second. The process will not always be what you think it would be. See your process as going out with a little one and it'll be less stressful. Everything I planned did not go as how I thought it would be, but I got the final product(her drawing) nonetheless =) The Lord knows your heart, he knows how important that assignment meant for me but He wanted me to first enjoy her and the product will come as a fruit. And it was good. I got an entry into her love life :)bring her to Ben & Jerry's to have some ice-cream and after finishing it to do some drawing. Her mum says she would luv it. Very natural to think that a child would like it there too But no...when we got there, she told me she doesn't want to draw! "I only draw for mummy, and in private".*faints*

What or who are you conscious of affects the way you feel

Was just feeling some what negative-conscious yesterday. Do not know if there's really such a word =) but the feeling just came and every little thing I said, act or did I was conscious of it. Not that you shouldn't watch your act altogether but when I miss the mark of doing what is right in my eyes, I can't help but feel bad at times. Other times, it's not about doing what is right or wrong, but when we compare ourselves with others it drives us even more frustrated at where we are at that state.
I went to class that night carrying this feeling with me. I told myself not to worry about tomorrow but to leave today, but nothing change. Nothing feels as bad as having a bad conscious. Even the best of things may be happening to your surroundings, you are not truly enjoying it.
I talk to God. I confess my Righteousness In Christ but the feeling was still there.
As I lie down on my bed and listen to my mp3 each night before I sleep, the first song that was played was the Acoustic Medley song sang by Steven Curtis Chapman. All the guilt feelings I had just left me the moment it was played. The last time, I would have skip the song because it was too slow :) but in the silent of the night, it really brings out the beauty of the song. And that's the reason why I just love to listen to my songs at night. I felt His love back again, and tears just started streaming down my face.
That's when I realised, it's not what you do or not do(as what i thought earlier as highlighted in green) that made you Righteous-conscious. I may be doing things out of the best intention and yet carry with me a guilty conscious. Or I may be doing a wrong thing, but still feel right. It's never your actions that determines the state of your consciousness, but who you are conscious of today that determines your state of consciousness.
Am I conscious of His love, His mercy and His grace. When I heard that song, I knew His consciousness has taken over my guilty conscious. Even when I miss the mark, I no longer feel bad. And because I don't, outward circumstances line up with what's inside of me.
God's beloved, be conscious of His love. Remaining in a righteous conscious state is a flow from there =)

Keep Your Word close to my heart

 

I was on my way to work listening to Pastor's sermon and as he mention chapter Psalms 119, it seems like the verse jumps out at me. I looked it up at work and when I got back home, I took hold of Charles Swindoll book on Grace to read and the first page I flip open to was Psalms119! So this is the journey as to why and what I'll be writing below =)

It seems then that He wanted me to study on these three words - heart, love and Word from that chapter.

I highlighted the word 'word' each time it was mentioned and study the verse that goes with it..(The verses below are from a combination of different version)

Psalms 119

When I keep His Word close to my heart

I am blessed  

Not do what is wrong but walk in His ways  

my ways will be directed

I will not be ashamed  

live a pure and clean life 

gives me the reward of life bountifully  

He's my counsellor/gives good advice    

If you are the sad and tired/drowning in tears/feeling heavy to be strong again

remove the way of lying/falsehood/gives me a free heart

enlarge my heart/makes me happy

gives me understanding/insight to do what He tells me

keep me from looking at worthless things/foolish desires/vanity

 take away the shame I fear/protects me from the insults I hate

Salvation(deliverance, help, safety, victory)

live in freedom/walk in liberty/at ease

comfort me in my hurt/affliction/hold me up in bad times

good things happen to me

teach me wisdom, good judgement, understanding, and common sense

would not perish in my affliction

lamp to my feet, light to my path/gives light to wherever I walk

save us from harmful and fradulent people

How do I do it...

I keep it diligently, take heed to His Word, hide it in my heart, meditate on it, delight in it, forget it not, study it all the time, trust His Word, speak it always, think about it all day long, observe it - hearing, receiving, obeying & loving it :)

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It's interesting that when I look into Proverbs, it doesn't tell us much about studying the Word as much as Psalms 119, but more on the ways of wisdom and gaining understanding. Many times showing us the result of having live the right way.

For example, 

Prov17:7 Excellent speech is not becoming to a fool, much less lying lips to a prince.

Prov 15:13 A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance

Prov 13:15 Good understanding gains favor

But what truly gives us the result of those (bold) words? We want to stand before kings and prince, to have cheerful countenance and favor. But how do I attain an excellent speech, a merry heart and a good understanding. It's by keeping the Word close to your heart. Love it as much as you would love someone dear to you. For out of the heart springs the issues of life :)

Grace IS with us!

Many times it was coincidences that made me study deeper into a certain chapter, verse or story which i believe it's how the Lord leads us at times. When what you hear, read and see seems to be speaking the same message to you. When this happens, I usually ask him to show me the meaning of it.