Fear cripples you

I took awhile to decide if I should write this. The journey, though short..over just a span of 3 days was significant and it brought me to a higher level of faith i’ve never experience before.

It happened 2 weeks ago when I woke up 2 times during the night. The first was to the restroom. Second was a voice of two words I heard by a young lady just beside my bed. Hope this dun send chills down your spine. The first time I felt just something, not visible, as I went out. Maybe it's a dream..

The next day, I was crippled with fear. I kept replaying it in my mind the voice I heard. Did I really hear? Aunty did mentioned she does scolds her husband at night as she fears he may fall down walking out alone due to his condition. But the voice was different…it was very clear. I told my colleagues and the first reply that came from 3 of them was to take out my bible and open it wide..even non believers know the power of the bible hehe

My mind was occupied with these thoughts. I could not focus on my work. Every thoughts of fear went through my mind..

I thought this house was a blessing? Should I move out? When will this fear ever leave me…Will I overcome it?I really thought I’ll never overcome it. I was thinking of plans to move out...

I went to band prac that day and asked the 2 girls to pray for me & I even borrowed the anointing oil as I couldn’t find mine when I needed it most.. that night I text my housemate, & she came down to sleep with me.

The next day, nothing changed. I was still in fear. It was cg day. Should I go to cg? I thought to myself. I have every reason not to…as I was tired & I wanted to ask the aunty abt the house. If I go, I wouldn’t be able to ask her & I’ll be home late…BUT I choose not to go by my feelings & I went.

The most amazing thing happened was when Jayden shared abt his recent honeymoon experience & their evil spirit experience in the hotel. My heart jumped & beat so fast when I heard that. At that time, I was looking at every scripture to find words of comfort. I was hoping to come to cg for a word. How amazing the Lord can even use the topic on Righteousness & relate it to his experience there & share it with us! Even Faith his wife was surprised when he started sharing abt it.

Tears just roll down my cheek when I shared. I told them I was afraid. I’ve come to a point that nothing really terrifies me & worries me anymore until this happens. All the scriptures I know seem to have come to void. I tried everything from anointing oil to prayer to Holy Communion. The encouragements were nice but it made no difference to how I felt at that point. I knew I needed to deal with it myself. It was an issue of the heart.

That night I went home still afraid. At 2am, I text my fren who was still awake. She text me & called me to comfort me. I cried. I was frustrated. I needed my sleep. But I couldn’t. That night, my lights were on the whole nights. I listened to a sermon twice and even in the sermon was the mentioned of the disciples being afraid of ghost when they saw the waves but Jesus words to them were, “Do not be afraid”. But still I couldn't sleep.

I didn’t know what took place. The next afternoon, every fear I had left. It was supernatural. I felt a newness of boldness it me. It felt like an aura of god surrounded me & every darkness has left. There was peace in the house. I really understood what it means the presence of god drives out every fear. I could literally feel it. You cannot reason fear away.

During my experience, god showed me the story of the Joshua & Caleb. What god meant for you as a blessing can be turned to be giants when you allow fear to come in.

Wow so cool, I went to look up for the story of Joshua & Caleb & the first site I landed on was (Your Inheritance -  All things work together for good 14June 2009) by this man who has been writing pastor’s sermon notes weekly I found recently.

Your giant is never meant to make you feel smaller or afraid. It was never meant to hinder your walk. It was bread for your taking. It was meant to be a blessing to youJHave faith & god will do the rest.

The Proverbs 31 Man

 

Happened to see this book, "In Search of the Proverbs 31 Man" before I embarked on writing down my vision today. It's partly done. My aim was to write down my desires in a handmade card like. I'm still not there yet. Any craft work takes more time & mental work in me than anything else. I saw this book many years ago at the Rock Bookshop and found it to be interesting. How nice I thought if I knew when I bought it & to my surprised, I actually did note down the date & time. Interesting cause I seldom do.

 

Bought : 1/05/05(After Women's Meeting)

Finish   : 2/05/05

What a nice date i thought it was=) grace grace.

 

You've read about Proverbs 31 woman..have you thought about the other side, for the man. Maybe hased/faithfulness..I thought the final page summarized by Michelle McKinney Hammond gave a very good description of a 'Proverbs 31 Man'. I guess it's in every girl's heart desire but we probably are not good at writing it down. It may be in every guys heart's desire too to be the man for their woman=) Read on & be blessed!

 

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He will do her good and not evil all the days of his life.

 

Though he waxes strong, he exercises humility.

 

He diligently works to answer and supply the needs of his family and household. His wife has no fear of the times to come, for he prudently considers the future and prepares for it.

 

He is kind to the needy, and his name is synonymous with a good report. his reputation precedes him; therefore, others seek his counsel and follow his example as well as instruction.

 

His mouth is a fountain of life to his household and to all who seek refreshing.

 

He walks in confidence and sound judgement, administering wise instruction to his wife and children.

 

He sets his house in God-ordained order. He redeems his household and covers it's inhabitants with prayer.

 

He considers the words of his wife, celebrates her wisdom, and crowns her as a helpmeet for him.

 

He grants her a double portions her gifts, and boast of her achievements.

 

He is clothed in love and faithfulness.

 

He trusts and rests secure in the help of His Redeemer.

 

Many men appear to be desirable at first glance, but the man who fears the Lord is to be praised, for his witness endures the test of time and scrutiny. Give him the honor he has earned and let the work of his hands prosper and be spread abroad.

 

-Michelle McKinney Hammond.

Why pay attention to character?

A usual before I rush out of the house, I would randomly grab a book to read on my way to work. This time it was a book by Michelle McKinney Hammond. The first page I flip open to gave me a surprise=) "The Importance of Character". How timely I thought as Pastor has been emphasizing it. I read it in a different light. Things I thought I knew, to realised actually i've not really understood it. If I had, I would not have fall for the guys I had in my younger days;) maybe even crying for them even when I don't really know them. I was purely falling for their looks & personality. Jesus has grow me through all this. What matters to Jesus matters to me now because I matter to him. I hope he'll open your eyes too to this. It's long though..my hands are numb from typing..hehe if this speaks to you, it's worth it. It'll change your love life. You'll grow together with someone you love & respect=)

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There is a difference between character & personality. The Bible says much about character & little about personality because God has predetermined that everyone's personality should be different. He delights in our uniqueness. Be true to your personality. If you are naturally humorous person, you should not try to become a quiet, serious person. Doing that would be incongruent to the way you were created. On the other hand, if you happen to be quiet, serious type, you should leave the funny stuff to someone else.

 

Clearly personality is important to attraction, more important than physical attraction, but personality alone fails to tell us enough about the inward person to make an informed decision. The elements of attraction(such as appearance and personality) that are important when we first meet someone will not be as important as the information we out later. I(Joel) have friend telling me all the time about woman they would like to meet. The first thing I think about--but the last thing I ask--is how does she look? I don't want to appear carnal, shallow, or immature, but this really is the first thought that does to mind. I'm still growing in this area, but I do understand that, though attraction is important, the features that initially attract me to a woman are the least important in qualifying her marriage.

 

Remember our root issue is wholeness. Lack of wholeness can cause us to be attracted to a person  for the wrong reasons. If you don't know who you are, and you're looking for someone to complete you, you will be looking for features in him that you lack yourself or for qualities that you feel will give you validation with others. For example, you may desire someone really good looking, not because you are especially attracted to him, but because being on his arms wins you acceptance. In other words, you're telling yourself that you must be okay if this good-looking man wants you. (Perhaps this is why women sometimes beg physically attractive men not to leave them. If the man leaves, the woman thinks her value is walking out the door.) You may be overly attracted to men with means if you have struggled financially. Or you may fix your attraction on someone whose occupation would give you instant status--like a politician, a famous person, or a successful pastor--if your destiny seems vague. Looks, money, and power can be attractive, but with God as your provider, you don't need a husband for those things.

 

Even your own neediness can push you to be attracted to someone whom, under normal circumstances, you wouldn't give the time of day. If you haven't eaten for a while, a cracker can have the appeal of filet mignon, so don't be fooled by attractions while you are in a needy state.

 

All these deficiencies in people can play into attraction, so we need to have a strong sense of who we are. Proverbs 27:7 says that "honey seems tasteless to a person who is full, but even bitter food tastes sweet to the hungry"(NLT). the same verse can apply to married too. A married man who is satisfied may find a woman attractive without feeling attracted to her because he is already fulfilled with his wife.

 

Look now at your list of attractions. You will notice that you could have everything on that list and still be unhappy. The impression we have of a person in the early stages of meeting him does not give us enough information to consider that person for the long haul. There is another picture that we need to be concerned with, and that is the person's character.  When we study the etymology of the word character, we find that it means "picture" or "image". The person's character is the photograph of he inward person. Man is a spirit, has a soul, and lives in a body. The spirit and the soul make up the inner man, the real person.

 

You have known a person for a long time, you really don't see their appearance as much as you see their appearance as much as you see the real person. Think about a person in your life who is really good person. When you think about him, you think about his characteristics. He is faithful, loyal, a person you can depend on, and a person who has come through for you when you really needed him. Although he may not be overly attractive on the outside, you think of him fondly. We can take this a step further and infer that, as your affection for him grew, he began to appear more and more attractive to you.

 

On the other hand, there may have been a person in your life who was attractive on the outside but turned on you. He may have deceived you, betrayed you, and let you down. He may have ultimately ended up being a bad person for you. When you think of this person, you don't see a a beautiful person. You see an ugly person because the photograph you now have is of the inward person, the one you had to deal with, not the one you originally saw.

 

Learn how to identify good character. Proverbs 31 will help describes a certain virtuous woman. The author praises her attributes while never mentioning her looks, and he concludes his tribute to her in part by saying, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"(31:30). So if a woman (or a man) fears the Lord, she will be a person of great character with wonderful, desirable attributes. Galations 5:22-23 gives us another photograph of good character:"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and slef-control."

 

What is going on inside a person is the most important factor you consider marrying someone. You do not marry the outward person; you marry the inward man. If he has a bad character, your chances of being happy with him are slim to none. Faithfulness is the cornerstone of character. Marry someone without character means at least you can't count on him. Ask yourself, too, whether the person is a loving person. One of the worst things you can ever do is marry a selfish person. Imagine submitting to someone who puts you last. And does the person have his own source of joy, of do you constantly have to cheer him up, pump him up, and encourage him? When we talked about disappointment earlier in the book, it had to do with setting an appointment by yourself. If you set an appointment with a person of bad character, you schedule yourself a disappointment.

 

Some women have what we call a "broken chooser". They choose based upon attraction and overlook the inward picture. Disrespect, disloyalty, laziness, inconsistentcy, and impatience are ignored because of her attraction to a man. Your chooser must be adjusted so that you do not focus on the aspects that attract you to the person. You must not allow what your heart and hormones feel to override what your mind sees and comprehends of the person's character.