Looking back...

I lie down on my bed last night and decided to open up my journal to read before sleeping. I didn't read all the notes I've written but only the ones I turned to and below were the few. It's something personal to me but I thought I'll share with you a glimpse of what I went thru in my thought or life almost a year ago.
12th May 07 - Arrow Service. Went out for prayer. Ker Han prayed for me. For the Lord to give me direction in life. To listen to Him during my quiet moments.
18th June 07 - It hurts so much I do not know how to pick myself up at times. Let me know the direction you have for me. I told Coach Tammie I'll be taking a break from DARE. Sometimes I do not know how I'm going to go back to Arrow. Lord, they ask me to talk to you, but I really do not know how...
25th June 07 - I finally feel the peace to take up Childhood Education. It's something that motivates me to study and work at the same time. The Lord has been giving me supernatural love for the children I've been meeting...
I had dinner with one of my dearest fren Wen Jun last Sunday. Had a good time of sharing of our past, present and future. Heh- But one thing that she said that rang true to me now is to journal down your thoughts and dreams. You'll never know how much you've grown until you write them down. I remember mentioning to her that night about how I used to cry almost every other Arrow service and if there's an altar call, I would surely be up there. Heh-
I'm happily serving in Arrow now and seeing the blessings of God working with children. The journey was hard pressed and seemed forever but I would never forget the relationship I had with Him and how He has brought me through. Always build your thoughts in line with His Word.
I'm inspired by this video, The Secret, about the key to success. It's not a Christian movie but you do see some biblical truth in it. Your thoughts run your life. And a short testimony of Oprah Winfrey with Larry King on The Secret. of her visualizing and praying for her dream.
In it, Oprah Winfrey sang the song 'I Surrender All'. Three days back when the Sales lady gave me the cd, she specifically asked me to listen to this song title, 'I Surrender All' too. It's a different song altogether but I love the lyrics to this song.
I have wrestled in the darkness of this lonely pilgrim land
Raising strong and mighty fortresses that I alone command
But these castles I've constructed by the strength of my own hand
Are just temporary kingdoms on foundations made of sand
In the middle of the battle I beleive I've finally found
I'll never know the thrill of victory 'til I'm willing to lay down
All my weapons of defense and earthly strategies of war
So I'm laying down my arms and running helplessly to Yours
Chorus:

I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams
Though the price to follow costs me everything
I surrender all my human soul desires
If sacrifice requires
That all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all

If the source of my ambition is the treasure I obtain
If I measure my successes on a scale of earthly gain
If the focus of my vision is the status I attain
My accomplishments are worthless and my efforts are in vain
So I lay aside these trophies to pursue a higher crown
And should You choose somehow to use the life I willingly lay
down
I surrender all the triumph for it's only by Your grace
I relinquish all the glory, I surrender all the praise

Bridge:

Everything I am, all I've done, and all I've known
Now belongs to You, the life I live is not my own
Just as Abraham laid Isaac on the sacrificial fire
If all I have is all that You desire
I surrender all
When I surrender my dreams and hopes in His hands, following the direction He has for me not knowing where it'll lead me to, I receive the treasure life brings =D