Fatherhood

I had an interesting discussion with my boss this morning as we were sharing about work. She went to sharing with me about how women are a pillar of support to their husband and the measure of their success. And most men focus are in building a successful career.
"Really haha...I just read it this morning", I interrupted her. (wow ..)
"Read?..."She looked rather surprised with my statement.
It was last night while browsing in my school library that I decided to look for something different to read. I chance upon this book called, "The gift of fatherhood" by Dr. Aaron Hass. I thought then it would be interesting to know how does a father feels and what struggles they face with their kids. And maybe thru it I'll gain more understanding of the Father heart of God.
Here's the excerpt I read this morning :
"Men feel good about themselves because of what they achieve. Men derive a sense of satisfaction from the status they attain. That's how we measure ourselves, that's how we determine our success. You don't get recognized by your peers for being a good father. You engender their respect because of how much money you make, how much power you yield, how productive you have been. And we are always comparing. Is his bigger than mine?
...I tell men that having children is potentially psychologically healthy for them. Good fathering implies a willingness to give up some of our self-centeredness. Good fathering requires the defeat of some of our overbearing narcissism. When you are being a good father you are loving another unselfishly, without ulterior motive. And when you are a good father, you will reap the rewards of love and closeness which will more than compensate for what you fear you may lose. You will feel less driven to achieve, less driven to impress"
I would not say I am in the position to know how a man thinks or feels as much as a married woman would =) A large part of my life was spent with my girl frens. Heh. But what went through my mind as I was reading it this morning was that it takes a purposeful effort to understand and relate to your child. Wherelse, for ladies we are naturally born with a nature to nurture. Another thing I saw was the similarity in a father-child r/s to me-others r/s that I could apply.
My dad lost his dad at a very young age. Therefore there was not fatherly figure in his life. He wasn't a Christian when he was young and that makes it even harder I feel at times for him to understand Fatherhood. Expressing love for us in words, touch or affection was not something that came naturally to him. I'm not disappointed at him because I know he loves me. He tells us and shows me in other ways.
But one thing I feel that is lacking in a family today is a fatherly figure. Fathers are so driven to provide. It may be his language of love to the family but may not be the child or spouse love language.
His need is met and not the child. (Just saw this =))...Ever wonder if the father meets the needs of his wife and child, his need for success will come naturally. God's focus has always been for family.
If the love of our Father in heaven could help us withstand the storms in our life, how much better to have an earthly daddy who could reflect His love to us.
It's my heart to see this in every dad. Maybe, we as daughter or son could help our dad in this by first being open to love =)