As you come to realise that God is beckoning you to a greater hiddeness, do not be afraid of that invitation. Over the years you have allowed the voices that call you to action and great visibility to dominate your life. You still think, even against your own best intuitions, that you need to do things and be seen in order to follow your vocation. But you are now discovering that Gods voice is saying, 'Stay home, and trust that your life will be fruitful even when hidden.'
It is not going to be easy to listen to God's call. Your insecurity, your self doubt, and your great need for affirmation make you lose trust in your inner voice and run away from yourself. But you know that God speaks to you through your inner voice and that you will find joy and peace only if you follow it. Yes, your spirit is willing, but you flesh is weak.
You have friends who know that your inner voice speaks the truth and who can affirm what it says. They offer you the safe space where you can let that voice become clearer and louder. There will be people who will tell you that you are wasting your time and talents, that you are fleeing from true responsibility, that you fail to use influence you have. But don't let yourself be misled. They do not speak in God's name. Trust the few who know your inner journey and want you to be faithful to it. They will help you stay faithful to God's call.
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